Different Colours: Why I Finally Decided To Publish

Yesterday, my debut poetry collection Different Colours officially came out, and honestly, even writing that sentence still feels unreal.

For a very long time, I was too scared to publish this book. There were so many moments where I nearly abandoned it completely. I kept putting it off because publishing something this personal felt terrifying. Sometimes I still look back and think, “Wow, I’m actually doing this.”

But I think that fear became part of the reason the book needed to exist in the first place.

Different Colours is messy, emotional, raw, and sometimes chaotic because growing up is just that. The collection is inspired by both personal experiences and fiction because I’ve always believed poetry does not need to follow strict rules to be real. Poetry can be anything as long as it makes somebody feel something. That is what matters to me most anyway.

A lot of the poems blur the line between memory and imagination. Some moments happened exactly as written. Others were exaggerated, reshaped, or completely reinvented to capture an emotion more honestly than a factual retelling ever could. I think poetry allows that freedom. It allows language to bend, break, and rebuild itself into something more human.

That is also why I never wanted this collection to sound overly polished or traditionally “perfect.” Poetry, especially modern poetry, can defy so many expectations around writing and language. It does not always need perfect grammar, neat endings, or clarity. Sometimes the unfinished feeling is the point. Sometimes the silence between words says more than the words themselves.

The book itself follows different emotional seasons of being eighteen. It moves through grief, toxic family dynamics, anxious attachment, first crushes, heartbreak, friendship breakups, loneliness, healing, and eventually finding confidence within yourself. The four sections, The Soil, The Bloom, The Wilt, and The Wildflowers, represent growth in all its different forms, even the painful ones.

Self-publishing this collection has also taught me a lot about myself. Being an independent writer at eighteen is difficult. There is constantly this voice telling you that you are too young, too inexperienced, or not ready yet. But I realised that if you truly love creating something, eventually you have to stop waiting for permission. You have to do it for yourself first.

And despite all the stress, fear, and overthinking, I am incredibly proud that I did not let this project stay hidden forever.

Over the past few weeks, I have also started attending open mic events to perform and promote the book, which has genuinely changed me in ways I did not expect. Performing poetry live has helped me gain confidence not only as a writer but as a person. It has become another brand new love of mine. There is something really special about sharing words out loud and watching people connect with them in real time. I honestly hope to attend and perform at many more open mics in the future.

If you want to hear more about the collection and the process behind it, I’ll also be speaking with Alejandra Castro on the Gentle PR Podcast on Saturday, May 16th, where we’ll be talking more about the inspiration behind Different Colours, writing, vulnerability, and self-publishing as a young creative.

At the end of the day, this collection is for anyone who has ever felt too much, not enough, stuck, lost, or afraid to grow. I hope somewhere inside these poems, people find pieces of themselves, too.

Different Colours is now available on Amazon for £7.99 paperback / £3.99 ebook.